His Alone Read online

  I stretch my arms over my head, doing my best to tease him, and the hands on my hips tighten. His face turns hard as his eyes narrow on me. He jerks his hips, making his cock dig into me, and a soft moan leaves my lips.

  “Kitten,” he warns.

  “What?” I bat my eyelashes, like I have no idea what I’m doing.

  “You’re pushing it.”

  “Really?” I rock my hips slightly. “`Cause it feels like I’m rubbing it.” I lean down, a breath away from taking his lips. And right before I almost kiss him, I spring off the bed. Two can play this game.

  Well, I think I can play this game. Or at least I’m trying to. Captain is the only man I’ve ever tried to seduce before.

  If I’ve learned anything over the past few days, it’s that Captain likes to kiss me. It’s like he can’t go more than twenty minutes without touching his lips to mine. He even steals kisses when we’re at work. It’s cute and silly and maybe a little juvenile to sneak off for a make-out session. But I can’t get enough of it, even when I pretend like it’s annoying me. He smiles every time I tell him “no, we can’t do this at work,” then he kisses me again. I think what I love most about it is that he’s normally all business on the job. But with me, I come first. His need to kiss me overrides everything else. It’s adorable, and I don’t care that it’s immature.

  He makes a grab for me, but I dodge him, slipping into the bathroom and locking the door.

  “Think I can’t get in there?” He uses his firm, no-nonsense tone, and I roll my eyes.

  “I’m naked,” I tell him, pulling off my T-shirt and panties and turning on the shower. I know he won’t come in now. I hear him growl before saying something about breakfast. I giggle.

  I jump in the shower and make quick work of my morning routine, throwing on some navy slacks, a white button-up silk top and lilac Prada wedges. I gather my hair into a ponytail and then join Captain in the kitchen. The man knows that the way to my heart is through my stomach, and he’s not pulling any punches. We work around my kitchen like he lives here and knows it even better than I do. I guess he probably does. He’s cooked here more than I have.

  “I don’t even know where you live,” I say, taking a bite of the eggs with extra cheese. The flavors hit my tongue. God, this man can cook. How does he do everything so perfectly? He has to have another fault besides being a morning person.

  He smiles. “A floor down.”

  “What?” I say, louder than I intend. “Does everyone live in this building?” What the hell? I really shouldn’t be shocked by this. No wonder he can pop out of nowhere sometimes.

  “I’ve worked with Miles for years. It’s easier this way.” That makes sense. It’s easier to be close. He’s been guarding Miles since before I came into the picture. Captain has always been around. I wonder how close they are. Probably not super-close. Miles doesn’t really let people in. Not until recently, anyway, and that’s a major work in progress as it is.

  “God, I used to dislike you so much.” I shake my head, thinking back to the times I saw him before Mal and I came to live in New York permanently. I hadn’t seen him that often, but it was enough. He was with Miles so much that when I checked in, he’d be there. Sometimes he was worse than Miles with the questions. Sometimes, after I’d report to Miles, Captain would call and grill me again. He’d even shown up at our school a few times, wanting a detailed rundown of things. He’d demand I show him around the campus so he could see where all our classes where. He even inspected our dorm room. Sometimes I wasn’t sure who was more obsessed with operation Keep Mal Safe―Captain or Miles.

  “You wanted me?” It finally hits me. That’s why he was such a pain in the ass! “That’s what all the questions were about! I thought you thought I was incompetent!” I throw my hands up in the air, shocked I hadn’t seen it sooner. How did I miss it?

  “I told you, Paige. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you.” He makes no apology for his words or actions. He’s not even a little embarrassed at being caught half stalking me.

  My stomach flutters again. That’s the second time he’s said the L word to me. Mal is the only other person who’s done so. I think I felt it, but I wasn’t sure how to communicate it to her.

  “She’s starting to get it,” he says, standing up from the breakfast bar and placing a kiss on top of my head. I sit there, running through all the conversations we’ve had over the years. They always focused on what I’d been up to. Where I’d been going. How my classes were panning out and if I needed anything. Anything at all.

  “You’re like Miles. Two peas in a stalking pod.” I debate if I should be irritated, but I bet those little hearts Mal gets dancing over her head are dancing on mine right now. I was always jealous of how much Miles obsessed over Mal, worrying about every tiny thing. I don’t think Captain is that bad, but I like his way better. It’s subtle and less controlling, but still possessive.

  He comes over, moving in on me, and I lean back. “You’re going to kiss me.” It’s not a question, but I answer it, anyway. “Nope.”

  I jump off the chair and go in search of my bag to take to work. I can feel his eyes on me as I check to make sure I have everything I need. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. It’s been five minutes and he’s already losing it with the not-kissing thing. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?

  By the time we make it to our office building, I remember why I haven’t gone on a kissing strike sooner. Because I like it as much as he does. Making out on the couch like teenagers, it’s like making up for lost time. It’s a simple things girls do, and I’d missed out on it. Now I wonder who’s going to break first. God knows if Captain really wants a kiss, I’m going to be pinned to a wall. So my best chance is to beat him to it.

  When the elevator door closes, I throw myself at him. He catches me easily, pulling me to him. He grabs my ass, his fingers digging into me. I go straight for his mouth, kissing him like I haven’t seen him in years. I pour everything I have into it, giving him all the emotions he’s made me feel over the past week. I tell him without words that I think I’m falling in love with him, too. I want him to finally give in and give us both what we want. I want to share something with him I’ve never shared with another person in my life.

  I rub against him, needing to get closer. I run one hand through his short hair, and I pull a little, gripping him as possessively as he holds me. I feel aggressive and passionate, and I want to leave a mark on him.

  When I hear the elevator ding, I push back and put some distance between us. Taking a breath, I adopt a straight face, but I glance over and see that Captain looks shocked. Probably because I’ve never attacked him like that at work before. He’s the one always grabbing me here.

  I give him a smirk, proud of myself. “Better make sure that one holds you over,” I tease, before walking out of the elevator, leaving him standing there, surprised by my actions.

  Well, that was the plan, anyway. I don’t make it half a step before I’m being grabbed back into the elevator and pinned against the wall. Captain reaches over, slams his fist against the button to close the doors, and the elevator does what he demands. Then he slams the emergency stop, and a shiver of desire snakes down my spine.

  “Kitten, I promise you that you don’t want to tease me.” He makes it so there isn’t space between us, pressing me further into the mirrored wall. “You don’t know how many times I’ve jerked off in the shower this week, thinking about taking you, having you, making you mine. I’ve been doing it for years, but it’s worse now because every morning I wake up with you in bed next to me, your sweet smell all around me. Knowing what your body feels like. What you sound like when you moan my name.” My breath catches at his words. “You breathe and I’m fucking turned on. So when you pull a stunt like this where you tease me, I have to think real hard about why I’m not ripping your panties off and fucking you right here, right now.”

  “Holy shit,” I whisper.

&nb
sp; “Now give me your mouth.”

  I do as he commands, kissing him once again. This time it’s as hard and raw as before, only I’m not in control. He kisses me like nothing else in the world matters and we have all the time he wants. I’m a puddle of molten need, gasping for breath, when he finally breaks our connection.

  “Don’t ever deny me when I want your mouth,” he growls, then finally pulls away, leaving me dazed. I didn’t know a kiss could make the earth spin in the opposite direction.

  After a second I get my footing back and straighten my shoulders. “There isn’t a time when you don’t want my mouth.”

  “Then you better buy stock in ChapStick.”

  I laugh at that, and he lets me go. He hits the button to our floor. The elevator opens and we step out, and both of us walk into the office like nothing happened. We take our seats. Only McCoy is here. Everyone else is out on duty. He glances up at us and raises his eyebrows. I wonder if my lipstick is all over my face now.

  “I deleted the feed,” he finally says, and I groan. He totally saw what Captain and I just did in the elevator.

  “Watch yourself, McCoy,” Captain growls, standing from his chair, suddenly angry.

  McCoy puts his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Told you I deleted it, man. Not like I fucking watched it.”

  “Cool it,” I snap to Captain. He takes a breath and then slowly sits down, his eyes still on McCoy, clearly pissed that someone saw our make-out session.

  “Sorry, I’m a little on edge,” he tells McCoy. I have to fight a smile, because I know why he’s so on edge. Me. I know what he wants from me. A clear commitment that I’m in this for real. Not playing a push-and-pull game anymore. And I want to give him that so bad. The past few days have been some of the best of my life. The tension drains from the room, and we all go back to our computers.

  I respond to a few emails, then check in on Mal’s schedule. I’m normally on her detail when she leaves the building, but she’s just been going from work to home. She doesn’t need me when her driver is our security, so I haven’t had much to do.

  When I pull up my calendar, the floor drops out from below me. How could I have forgotten? The date stares back at me, and a cloud forms in front of my eyes. It’s the anniversary of the day I lost my mom.

  “Fuck,” I whisper to myself, dropping my head and taking a few breaths. I get myself under control, because I’m not going to lose it here at my desk.

  I told myself I was going to enjoy Captain while I could have him. That when he finds out what I want to do to my father, he’ll leave me. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll get to stay around after. If I make it through, I might have to run. It’s why I kept him at arm’s length from the beginning, because we are two different people who come from two different worlds.

  But somehow when I decided I would take what I could from Captain, he’d taken me. I’ve been living on this little fluffy cloud, forgetting all about my mother and how I have a duty to repay what was done to her. How could I do that to her? I owe her justice. It’s like I’m back in that room watching her die, standing there helpless all over again. Then the night flashes through my mind, playing scene by scene.

  I close my eyes tightly. I don’t know how long I sit there making myself watch it over and over again in my head. Reminding myself of what I did.

  Nothing.

  I’d done nothing to save her. And what am I doing now to avenge her death?

  I pull out my cell phone and text Mal.

  I need a favor.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ryan

  * * *

  SOMETHING IS WRONG with Paige. I’ve been watching her all day, and she’s not herself. I’ve gotten her alone twice to ask her, but she brushes it off, saying she has a headache. I’m not sure I believe her. A mask has dropped over her face, making her harder to read than normal. By the end of the day, she isn’t any better, and I’m starting to worry and feel completely on edge. Every muscle in my body is strung tight as I wonder what’s going on in that head of hers. She’s been playful these past few days as I pulled the real Paige out piece by piece, but that playfulness has all but disappeared now.

  “Kitten, maybe I should take you to the doctor,” I say, putting the back of my hand on her forehead to see if she has a fever. She doesn’t feel warm, but this isn’t like her. I don’t like this shit, and something about it is eating me. It feels off, and I always trust my gut.

  She glances around and then back at me, knocking my hand away more forcefully than I expect. The motion burns deep in my gut. The playfulness slips away even more. She’s slipping away. I can feel it. Usually when she bats me away, it’s a halfhearted attempt. Almost an invitation to keep touching her. But that felt different. “To put it bluntly, I started my period today. I get really bad headaches and cramps, so if you don’t mind I’d like to be alone tonight.”

  Her statement surprises me. I didn’t expect her to say it, but it’s not like she’s got the plague. I don’t know what most guys’ reactions would be, but I don’t care. It’s just a period. Every other person on the planet has one. It’s not like she’s going to give it to me, and if I’m with her I can take care of her. Get her anything she might need.

  “Look, let’s go home and I can rub your feet and you can rest. I’ll make us dinner.” I’m already thinking about what I can do to make her better. Maybe she’s irritable and needs to eat. That happens more than not. I can Google what helps with that time-of-the-month shit. I’m sure there is something I can do for her.

  She looks annoyed and shakes her head as if shaking away the idea. “No, I’d rather be alone. I’ll see you in the morning.” Her words are final, and I’m shocked, pissed even, as I watch her stack those blocks back up around her. She thinks they’re going to stay, but I won’t let them.

  “Hey.” I grab her arm, but she jerks it out of my grip. What’s happening? Why is she being so aggressive? She’s pissed, that much is clear. I can see it in the tight lines of her body. She’s rigid, almost breakable.

  “Seriously, Ryan. I’m fine. Give me some space tonight. Is that so much to ask?”

  The fact that she used my real name makes me take a step back. I don’t appreciate her tone, or her insinuation that my being with her is somehow an inconvenience. “I wanted to make sure you were all right. I can see you have that under control.” It takes everything in me to force those words past my lips.

  This is about her father. She has that same look on her face she had that night at the party. I take a deep breath to calm myself. I need to give her a little space. A little time to breathe, but not much. She isn’t walking this road alone, as much as she wants to, or at least thinks she wants to.

  She grabs her messenger bag and avoids eye contact. “I’m fine. I’m not feeling great today, and I’d appreciate a night off.”

  “Absolutely.” The word comes out cold, but she doesn’t react. I clench my fists at my sides so I don’t reach out and grab her and pull her to me.

  I try to give her what she’s asking for, even though I think the reason is bullshit. There’s something else there, but with Paige, I can’t push her. Not yet, anyway. I need to figure out what’s happened. What’s changed in the last few hours. My mind runs through everything that’s gone throughout the day and nothing comes to mind.

  We walk out of the building together, and I make sure she gets home safe. When she says goodbye to me at her door, I throw my hands out and let it go. Obviously, she isn’t ready to talk about what’s really going on.

  I take the stairs down one floor to my apartment right below hers. I let myself in, dropping my keys by the door, and walk to the living room. It’s sparse and cold in my place, and suddenly I hate every inch of it. Mostly because it doesn’t have Paige in it.

  I flip on the TV that shows the feed from all the cameras in the building. I pull up the one that’s on her door. I sit on my couch, wondering if she’s okay and trying to think of what the hell happened after we g
ot to work. I lie back and look up at the ceiling. We’re separated by only a few feet, but for some reason it feels like we’re miles apart.

  That’s okay, kitten. I’ll let you push for a minute, but I’m coming for you.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Paige

  * * *

  “HEY, I’M HERE. What’s going on?”

  I grab Mallory and pull her into the apartment, closing the door behind her. She gives me a wary look but doesn’t push. I’ve gone over this a hundred times in my head, so hopefully she’ll be okay and won’t ask a lot of questions. I don’t want to have to lie to her. I swore I would never do that again, and I won’t.

  “I told Captain I needed to be alone tonight. I said I got my period and I wasn’t feeling good.”

  She looks at me in puzzlement and tilts her head to the side. “You hardly ever get your period. You’ve been irregular since I’ve known you.”

  “I know. That’s not the point,” I say, hating that she knows me so well. How does she know exactly when I get my period and when I don’t? That’s some creepy friendship shit right there.

  “Paige, what are you up to? Is this another secret mission?” For a second she looks excited, and I think back to the night we sneaked out on Miles and Captain. She gets way too excited about pushing Miles’s buttons, but after doing the same to Captain, I can’t say I blame her. It is fun seeing them squirm. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was nice to watch them chase after us. I wonder if Captain will chase after me when he finds out what I’ve done.