His Alone Read online

  “What happened to you?”

  “Where have you been?”

  “This is crazy!”

  We talk over each other, both asking the same questions at the same time. I stare at him. His big blue eyes and shaggy black hair give him that little-boy look still. He’s just a little taller than me, and just as skinny. He’s dressed in a Red Hot Chili Peppers T-shirt and jeans, and I want to laugh.

  “I think you were wearing this exact same thing last time I saw you,” I say, and playfully slap his arm.

  His smile is soft, and he nods at me. “Yeah, could be. I’m down this way to meet a friend for breakfast.” He smiles and shakes his head. “God, it’s so crazy running into you. Not a day goes by I don’t think about you. Let’s have dinner, maybe—”

  “No.”

  We both turn to see Captain standing there, holding my bag of breakfast and scowling at Patrick. I want to laugh at his absurd expression, but I also feel the need to step in front of Patrick to protect him from Ryan’s wrath. So I do a little of both.

  Laughing, I shift so I’m standing in front of Patrick, and take out my phone. He gives me his number and I text him mine. “I’ve got to get to work, so text me later and let’s set something up. I’d like to talk. It’s really good to see you.”

  “Yeah, I’m running late, too. Great to see you again, Paige. Really great.”

  He leans in for a hug, and I give him one back. I can practically feel the glacial stare Captain bores into my back, but I ignore it. I release Patrick, and he walks into the coffee shop, waving to someone inside.

  “Who was that?” The question feels accusatory, like I’m in trouble. I can see the jealousy on Captain’s face. His jaw is locked as he waits for my answer.

  “Just an old friend I haven’t seen since I was a kid.” I take a sip of my latte and walk the rest of the way to work thinking about Patrick. Captain must sense where my mind has gone because he doesn’t ask me any more questions. I’m sure he’ll do his own digging once we get to our office, but until then he stays silent.

  Patrick knew about my situation with my mom and dad, so I’m sure he’ll have questions. I don’t know that I’m ready to go down that path again, but it might be good to talk to someone who already knows about my past. Telling Captain everything isn’t going to be easy, and maybe I don’t have to. This could be a way for me to work through what I want without the pity I know Captain will give me. Patrick and I grew up the same, so I’m not worried about him feeling sorry for me. We both had it bad back then, and something about sharing that darkness seems familiar.

  We walk into the building and scan our badges, and I make my way to my desk and set down my things.

  I feel Captain’s eyes on me, watching my every move. He’s got questions of his own, but I’m not ready for them. The one thought that keeps running through my mind is that I felt more when Ryan looked at me than when Patrick had me in his arms.

  Chapter Nine

  Paige

  * * *

  JORDAN RAISES A dark eyebrow at me from over the top of his many monitors. I look away and scan the room to see if anyone else noticed. Captain is staring intently at his computer, which he’s been doing since we got to the office. I’d bet you anything he’s running a search on Patrick. I would roll my eyes, but it’s something I’d do, too, if I was him. His job is to keep Miles safe, and part of that is knowing everything about everyone around Miles. But a deeper part of me hopes that it’s jealousy making him do it. At work, Captain always does everything by the rules, and to think he’s breaking protocol and looking something up to check on me makes something warm inside me. I love the idea that I can make him do things he shouldn’t be doing. That he’d break the rules just for me.

  Clearly, Jordan has noticed me staring and is wondering what the hell I want. Jordan doesn’t like to be stared at, but he’s the only person I know who can get me what I want. Well, at least get it to me the fastest, and I’m not sure he’ll help me. If I know anything about men, it’s that they love a good damsel in distress, especially men in this line of work. It’s what they do for a living. Protect people.

  I’m supposed to be reading about a new company Miles wants to take over. I’m in charge of learning all the ins and outs about it and who it might piss off if the buy goes through, but all I’m doing is waiting for the right time to get Jordan alone. I tried to gather information on my father on my own, but there wasn’t much. I need to be able to track him, find out more about what he’s doing and where he’s living. What I will do with this information, I don’t know, but I need something, anything. I need to be more prepared for him.

  I cast my eyes toward the door, and Jordan’s forehead crinkles. The scar that runs from his temple down his cheek pulls tight. I’ve always wondered how he got it. He isn’t like the rest of the men here in Security. Sure, he holds his own, but he’s normally behind a computer screen, so that scar and how he got it have always piqued my interest. I’d get it if it was McCoy, Grant or Sheppard. They all spent years in the services, and I know Sheppard even used to run a SWAT team. Scars on them add up, but not on Jordan. In fact, I don’t know much about Jordan at all. The others like to talk. Him, not so much.

  Not waiting to see if he’ll follow, I stand up. Captain looks up at me, and I answer before he can even ask.

  “Ladies’ room.”

  “Maybe if you laid off all the Red Bull…” Grant says, and I ignore him. They’re always giving me shit about it, but they drink my weight in coffee.

  “I could use a drink,” Jordan mutters, standing up.

  “Grant, you don’t want to see me without my Red Bull,” I tease in return as I leave the room, Jordan not far behind. I don’t worry when I grab ahold of him and pull him into the ladies’ room. I’m the only woman on the security team, and Security takes up the whole floor. We don’t need the space, but only we are allowed on this floor, so I know Jordan and I won’t be interrupted. He comes easily and sports a bored look on his face. Almost like he wants to get this over with. Probably wants me to stop staring at him, thinking I’m looking at the scar he tries to hide behind his hair. He sometimes lets it hang over that side of his face on purpose.

  “Jesus, Turner,” he mutters, shaking his head at me.

  “I know, right? I bet this bathroom is way cleaner than yours.” I crack a smile, but he gives me nothing. God, this guy is a stone. Not even a smirk.

  “I need your help,” I tell him, finally getting his attention. The bored look fades away and curiosity takes hold. I don’t often ask for help, even though I’m new. It’s hard for me. Even harder when I have to ask a man. He stands a little taller, like he’s gearing up to protect me. “I think this guy is stalking me and, well…” I trail off, like I’m so frazzled I can’t finish the rest of my sentence. I wring my hands to play up the effect.

  “Okay, I’m sure the team can find out—”

  “No.” I cut him off. “This is really embarrassing.” I shift from foot to foot. “You see, we kind of had this one-night stand and I think maybe he recorded us.” Jordan’s eyes go a little wide at that. “He’s threatening to send the video out if I don’t go out with him again.”

  “Are you fucking shitting me?” Jordan squares his shoulders like he’s ready to fight.

  “Thing is, I think he’s bluffing. I got really drunk and I’m pretty sure we didn’t, you know…” I let the words hang once again. “But I’m not totally sure.”

  Jordan runs his hands through his shaggy hair. “Give me his name and some information. I’ll check him out and let you know.”

  That’s not going to work. I have to watch him do it. “There’s a time crunch, and he could send this video at any time.” I let my eyes go wide, playing it up. These guys never see me as anything but tough, so I know this has to be freaking him out. Maybe even making him uncomfortable. But I’m banking on him helping me. I don’t believe that anyone who can hack a computer like Jordan can doesn’t have some experience in ill
egal activity.

  “All right, all right. I’ll check now.”

  I rattle off the information about a guy I’d met at a bar a week ago with Mal. I give Jordan all the details I think he’ll need to track him down easily enough.

  “All right, follow my lead, and if I find anything I’ll destroy it.” He pulls open the bathroom door and we both walk back to the main office.

  “I’ll show you a few shortcuts I use for the recognition software. It can cut down some time when you’re short some info,” Jordan says to me as we enter the office. Everyone looks up as we walk in and then goes back to what they were doing. Everyone but Captain. His eyes stay on me as I follow Jordan to his desk.

  He has more computer screens than any of us. Most of us have dual screens, but he has five. I stand back as he sits down, and I pretend to fidget with one of my nails, not looking at his screens, but at his hand on his keyboard. I surreptitiously watch as he types in his passwords. Everyone has three sets of passwords to gain access to their own computer. Each password is five characters long. It’s set up that way so no one can ever keep up if you type it in front of them. But I can without a problem. My brain takes in each hit of the keys, and locks the memory away.

  “See, if you go in here…” Jordan says, as he does nothing of the sort. He says one thing, while he hacks away, pulling up this guy’s driver’s license and any information he can find on him. Next I watch him pull up the guy’s emails. Most are related to his job at an architecture firm; a few emails are from some date sites. When Jordan doesn’t find anything there, he goes for they guy’s phone. God, I hope he’s never done this to me. What does Miles use him for? I push that thought away and focus on what’s happening now.

  I watch as he pulls up all available information on this guy. You really forget how much of yourself you keep on your phone. He comes up blank, like I knew he would. But that wasn’t the point. The point was to learn. To remember how to do what Jordan did. And I learned a lot.

  “That should do it. You know the codes and how to use them. It will cut a lot of time for you.” I look down at him and he gives me a half smile, like he’s happy he couldn’t find anything, and guilt slices through me. But I block it out. I have enough guilt to worry about, and this small thing is one I can live with. The guilt I carried for my mother I wasn’t so sure of, because I’m not really living at all.

  The thought makes me look up at Captain, who’s once again got those eyes on me. Maybe he’s never taken them off me.

  Sitting back in my own chair, I debate when I can get the office to myself. That’s going to be the tricky part, but I shouldn’t be watched so carefully anymore, like when I first came back to New York. I was always with Mal, whose main guard most of the time was Captain. He’s going to be the hardest to slip past. I’ll have to do it in the middle of the night, but I don’t know how closely things are monitored here.

  Maybe it will be something I can delete once I have access to Jordan’s computer. But what will it matter if I get the information I need? Do I want to get fired? No. But it’s a price worth paying for what I’ll be getting.

  It’s what this is all about. Miles might have fallen off his path, but I haven’t. We teamed up to take down my father, and Miles believes he’s done that, stripping him of his businesses and leaving him with nothing. But I know most of those were fronts. They were what made him look like he had legit dealings, that he rolled with the elite of New York. Sure, it would hurt, because Alexander was always about his ego, asserting his power over people to make himself feel like more of a man. He wouldn’t be happy looking like he’d failed, but he could still move on with his life. My fear is that he could keep doing the other things he’d had his hands in. Most of his illegal activities had slowed with his attempt to go legit, but I know Alexander, and he would never leave it completely. The drugs, the whores, the money, they were all too enticing. There’s no way he gave it all up. He’s rotten to the core, and he wouldn’t ever walk away from that.

  I don’t know how much Miles knows, but he didn’t experience it firsthand growing up, like I did. Father Dearest hid that from Miles, treating him like his golden boy, until Miles found out how he’d really treated his mother. The only reason I even know that is because Vivien told me. God knows Miles wouldn’t have had that little heart-to-heart with me.

  I’m not even sure why Vivien told me. She always tries to get close to me, which is unsettling. For some reason it always feels like a betrayal when I’m with her, even though I know Vivien wasn’t wrong I’d already failed my mother so much, so liking Vivien was like adding one more sin to the pile—a pile that was starting to crash down on me, the weight becoming unbearable at times.

  “Kitten.” I look up from my computer to see Captain. He startles me from my thoughts, and I glance around the room. Everyone is gone, making me wonder how long I zoned out.

  “How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?” I snap, taking my anger out on him, before I grab my bag and leave the office.

  Chapter Ten

  Paige

  * * *

  MY PHONE BUZZES in my hand, and I scowl when I read the text. Glancing around, I don’t see Captain, but it’s clear he must see me.

  Captain: You should stop in that diner for dinner. I hear they have good meatball subs.

  Me: Stalker

  Captain: You like it. Make sure you tell them no sesame seeds on the roll.

  I want to stomp my foot because he knows me too damn well. Better than I know myself sometimes. How he knows all this is beyond me, but I guess we spend so much time together it was bound to happen.

  Me: Why don’t you order it for me, since you know everything?

  Captain: Already did, kitten. See you at your place in ten.

  I growl at the cat emoji he sends next and I curse again. I shoot a look into the diner to my right and can’t see if he’s really in there because of the glare on the glass. At first I think he’s joking, but what if he isn’t? I stuff my phone in my bag and quicken my steps to my place.

  By the time I get home, I’m a little sweaty. I go into my apartment and clean up a bit. I try to tell myself it’s not because he’s coming over, because clearly, I’m not letting him inside. I’m just straightening up at a very fast pace for no reason at all.

  Looking around the living room, I see all the wedding shit is still in its place. I give up on that immediately and go to my room, putting away my clothes and making my bed because I forgot this morning. Not because Captain is going to see it. Or push me down on top of it.

  The thought of him over me has me squeezing my thighs together in excitement. The image of him in my room again and doing so much more than sleeping takes hold, and I feel the pool of desire between my legs. Just as I debate if I have time to masturbate, there’s a knock on my door.

  “Shit.” I pull off my heels and throw them toward the closet and walk barefoot to answer the door.

  “Go away,” I say through the closed door, and the fucker laughs.

  “Open up, kitten.”

  “No.” I cross my arms and stand there like a brat. I don’t know why I’m pretending I don’t want him in here, because I do. I just don’t like that he assumes he can come and go so easily.

  “You going to make me eat this whole thing myself?”

  My treacherous stomach rumbles, and I remember that I haven’t been to the store. There’s a piece of moldy cheese and a can of Red Bull in my fridge, and my stomach knows it. I let out a huff and open the door a crack.

  I look down Captain’s big muscled frame to the huge bags of food he has in his paws. The smell of Italian spices and marinara hits my nose, and my mouth waters. I clear my throat and try to act cool.

  “Leave it.” I prop my hand on my hip and wait expectantly.

  “That’s cute. Move your sweet little ass out of the way.” I stand back in surprise as he kicks the door open and walks right in. “Could have used my key, but my hands were full. Lock it,
will you, kitten?”

  “Why do you keep calling me that?” I do as he says, half annoyed, half turned on. Did he kick in my door to bring me food? Talk about a wet dream.

  He places the bags of food on the table and I walk over, reaching out to open them up. But before I can, Captain is in front of me, pushing me back against the wall and placing his hands on either side of my head.

  “What the—”

  My words are cut off as he leans down and places a soft kiss on my neck. The warm sensation sends a shiver all over my body, and without thinking I tilt my head to give him more of my skin. The slick heat of his tongue trails down to my collarbone, and a pulse thrums between my legs. My hands move to his chest, feeling the ridges of his pecs, and I run my palm across his dress shirt. His nipples harden at my touch, and I wonder if he’s getting hard anywhere else. He presses his lower body against me, and I know exactly where he’s affected the most. I push my hips forward, trying to mold our bottom halves together, forgetting every reason I’ve ever had for not wanting to be with him.

  “I keep calling you kitten,” he says, pulling one of my legs up his hip so my pussy is rubbing against his thigh, “because it gets you wet.”

  The shudder of my breath does nothing to disprove his theory as he starts to move me up and down his leg. Captain has never talked dirty like that to me before. He’s made it known he wants me, but he’s normally a gentleman about it. This is different. It’s dirty. And a small part of me likes the idea that maybe he just does dirty with me. That something about me makes him talk to me that way. That he can’t control himself and I bring out his barbaric side.

  He grasps my hips and guides me over the hard ridges of his upper thigh. The width of it opens me up, and even though we’re both wearing pants, it’s the perfect pressure in the perfect place. He’s controlling my movements, but it’s exactly what I want, so I don’t stop him. His mouth is at my neck, and I move my fingers from his chest to his hair so I can hold his mouth in place.