Holding His Forever Read online

  “She can’t. My fiancée and I have plans.”

  I’m so knocked by his words I don’t speak as he pulls me from the diner and shuffles me into a truck, quickly shutting the door behind me. When he enters the other side, he locks the doors before putting his key in the ignition and taking off.

  “Fiancée?” I finally find my words. Derek’s hands grip the steering wheel so tightly I can see his knuckles turning white. He glances over at me like he is trying to read my face.

  He just shrugs. Maybe he said it so Sam will leave me alone. If he thinks I’m with someone, he might back off. I don’t think that will work, but I know him a little better than Derek. I don’t think Sam will stop until he gets what he wants or I quit. I can feel it. I should have seen it before and paid better attention. Maybe I should have had a few job possibilities lined up and not let it get to this point.

  “Has a nice ring to it,” he says, his little tease making my whole world tilt. His hands loosen on the steering wheel and he gives me a playful smile. I can’t help but blush and look away out the window.

  I feel his hand take mine. I look back at him, but his eyes are on the road. His fingers lace with mine and give me a little squeeze.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  “Home,” he says simply, like it’s my home, too. I haven’t had a place that felt like home in forever. Maybe I never really did. I’ve had places I stayed with my mother, but I will never call the house I lived with my father a home. That wasn’t a home at all.

  “Where is your home?”

  A sheepish look crosses his face, and I could swear he blushes a little, but it’s hard to tell in the dark interior of the truck.

  “Yeah, about that.” A moment of panic hits me at what he is about to say. That sweet little bubble I’m in with him might be about to burst. I try to pull my hand from his, but he only tightens his hold. What if he’s married or something?

  “Where you slept last night is my home. Well that, or the firehouse, and I’m sure as fuck not taking you back there.”

  “You said”

  “I know. I just didn’t want you to be unconformable and wanted you to have a safe place for the night,” he admits, and the now-familiar warm feeling wraps around me.

  “You make me feel safe,” I confess. I feel the furthest thing from uncomfortable around him.

  “You make me feel whole again.” He brings my hand up to his mouth, kissing it, never taking his eyes off the road. It almost sounds like he was in pain and I’ve taken it away. The idea that I have that kind of power is intoxicating. I wish I could see his face right now because that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me in my whole life.

  We sit in silence for a little as he makes the drive across town.

  “You hungry?” he asks, pulling up to the front of his house “I can order us something or take you somewhere, if you like.”

  “I ate, so I’m okay, unless you want to get something.” He ate at the diner while he watched me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a man as big as him ate every few hours. Firemen must work out a lot.

  “The only thing I want to eat right now is you.” He words are deep and sensual and send a thrill up my spine. My face heats. I don’t think he knows I have no idea what I’m doing. Maybe I could fake it. I know about sex, I just haven’t done it. I don’t want to disappoint him, but the way he looks at me makes me think I could just stand here and he’d be happy with me. Whole, like he said.

  “Don’t move,” he says before hopping out of his truck and coming around to my side and opening the door, giving me his hand to help me down. It’s not even a high truck, so his attentiveness has me fighting a giggle.

  “You always this sweet?” I ask, looking up at him through my lashes.

  He wraps an arm around me, pulling me close as we walk towards his door.

  “My mom taught me manners, but I don’t recall anyone ever calling me sweet.” When we get to his door, he unlocks it and pulls me into his place. He shuts and locks the door behind me. The lock has barely clicked into place when he’s on me, caging me in with his big body. His hands rest on the door behind me, bracketing my head.

  I still don’t feel a trace of fear. My hands go to his chest, my fingers digging into his shirt.

  “Strawberry or mango?” he says, and I raise an eyebrow at the odd question.

  “Thought you weren’t hungry.”

  “I meant, which smell do you like more?” He presses into me.

  “I’m partial to both,” I tell him, unsure what this is about.

  “Good. I got you both. I’d get you anything you asked for,” he says, then his mouth is on mine once again. The kiss is just like our first one. The same need clawing at us both. Before I know it my legs are wrapped around him and he’s carrying me through the house, my back hitting his bed. I still don’t let go of him, keeping my body wrapped around him. I don’t want any space between us, and I need this contact more than my next breath.

  He looks down at me with the most intense look I’ve ever seen, and it steals my breath.

  “You look like an angel. I shouldn’t want to do all these things to an angel, but I don’t think I can stop myself. I don’t even think God could stop me at this point,” he admits. I can see he’s trying to fight himself. He’s trying to pull back, but I don’t want that. I want him.

  I wiggle under him, desperate for him to keep going. I want more of him, wanting all of the things he makes me feel.

  “Then don’t.” I’ll be his as long as he wants me. I’d give him anything if he always made me feel like this.

  12

  Phoenix

  I’d done some digging while I waited for Fia to finish her shift at the diner. I’d talked to Jim again and given him her name and gotten as much as I could. I knew her dad had died and had been reported for abuse on several occasions, and that she and her mom had been in and out of shelters before finally getting on her feet when she was old enough to start working. I also saw found out that she is close to finishing college, but had dropped out when her mom passed away. I’d checked and she was preregistered for the fall semester in school, but I’m willing to bet the fire sent those dreams up in smoke and set her back to where she was.

  Seeing her under me right now and knowing that she’s willing to give herself over to me has me feeling things I’ve never dared feel before. When I said “fiancée” earlier, I’d done so without thinking about what it might do to her. If it might scare Fia away, or make her think I was crazy. But that’s exactly what this is. Crazy ridiculous. But damn if it doesn’t feel like the absolute right decision. I'd wanted her before I'd found out about her past, but as I find out more about her, I want to make sure no hurt ever touches her again.

  “This is all moving so fast,” I say, feeling myself pushing towards the edge of no return. “Don’t give me something and then take it back, Fia. I don’t care what this makes me sounds like, but I need to know that you won’t run out on me. That if we do this, and you give yourself to me, this means something to you.”

  She smiles at me, running her fingers through my hair. “I’m not going anywhere, Derek. Just please don’t break my heart.”

  “The only thing I plan on breaking is this headboard.”

  She starts to laugh, but it turns into a moan as my mouth goes to her neck and starts to kiss her. I’m ravenous for her, but I’m trying to go slow. However, three seconds into my plan, I give up, pulling off her clothes as quickly as I can.

  “I can’t go slow, Fia. I’m trying, but it’s not working.”

  I pull at my own clothes as she starts to strip down the rest of hers, taking off her simple white panties and white cotton bra. I nearly rip my shirt off to get my skin against hers, wanting my naked chest against her breasts.

  She lies back, and I sit up on my knees to look down on her. Her pale skin is unmarked, almost like porcelain. Her breasts are full, with nipples the color of her blushing cheeks. They’re tight, and quiv
er as she takes in a shaky breath.

  I look into her eyes, and she smiles at me nervously. “I’ve never done this before,” she confesses, shrugging a shoulder.

  Gazing down her body to her waist, and then lower, I see a small patch of blonde curls and the dewy lips of her pussy. I reach down and rub her there, feeling how soft she is.

  Without taking my eyes off her pussy, I lick my lips. “This is fresh? Never been kissed?” My voice is husky, and even I hardly recognize it. My throbbing cock is still trapped in my jeans, but being inside there won’t stop me from cumming.

  “Yes,” she whispers, and I can hear the desire in her voice. The nervousness from seconds ago has faded away.

  “My sweet Fia. I’m going to love every inch of you. Taste every inch.”

  Moving down her body, I kiss her stomach and hips, then kiss the inside of her thighs to get them to spread for me. When she relaxes enough, they fall open for me, revealing her pretty pink pussy and her hard little clit. That will only ever be mine until the end of time.

  Her hands move down, and she shyly tries to cover herself, but I just gently intertwine our fingers and keep kissing the insides of her thighs, moving closer to her center. She takes a few more shaky breaths, and I can feel her tension coiling just before my mouth opens, and I give her one long, slow lick with the flat of my tongue.

  Her warm sweet taste hits me, and I inhale her scent. Her hips rise, and she moans out my name just before my whole mouth covers her. One taste is enough to drive me insane. My hands grip her tighter as my mouth moves over her pussy, licking and tasting all of her. My lower half starts to rub against the mattress, trying to find some kind of relief, but it’s useless. My cock wants inside the sweet heaven that my mouth is making love to, and he won’t be happy until he’s in there.

  “So sweet,” I growl against her before going back to sucking on her clit.

  Before I know it, she’s the one gripping my hands harder and pressing her pussy into my mouth.

  “So,” she gasps, “close!”

  The thought of her having an orgasm on my face has cum dripping out of the end of my cock. I can’t hold back when I feel her pussy pulsing and she cries out my name. The sounds of her pleasure and the rush of sweetness from her pussy into my waiting mouth have thick cum smearing the inside of my jeans. I can feel the hot mess all over my cock as she grinds out her pleasure on my mouth.

  I have to blink a few times to clear my vision because I’ve gone foggy with one of the strongest orgasms of my life. And she didn’t even touch me.

  Giving her pussy one last soft kiss, I let go of her hands and move down off the bed to take off my jeans. Fia opens her sleepy eyes, giving me a very satisfied smile.

  I push the material over my hips, taking the sticky underwear with it and kicking them away. Her eyes widen at my hard cock, which is nearly purple with excitement and pointing right at her. Reaching down, I stroke him a few times as I crawl back onto the bed. Fia doesn’t take her eyes off me until I’m between her legs and the head of my cock is at her opening.

  I kiss her, letting her taste the passion she just gave me. It’s so fucking erotic when she moans at the flavor. Her pussy on my face and her tongue in my mouth are my undoing.

  When I pull back, I look deeply into her eyes. “I’m clean. I had my last full checkup a year ago, and I haven’t touched anyone since. And it was a long time before that test, too. I want you bare, angel, and I want you to know that I’ll take care of you. Tonight and every night after this, I’ll be the one you lean on.”

  I push into her opening but with all my strength will my body to stop. I've never felt someone else's bare flesh against my cock before. I want this closeness with her, something neither one of us has shared before. I just hold myself there, not wanting to hurt her.

  “I don’t know how this happened so fast, but I love you, Fia. And I promise to be with you and take care of you, always and forever.” I confess my truth.

  She smiles up at me, tears twinkling in her eyes. She nods and runs her fingers through my hair, not answering me in words, but I can feel it in her heart. She doesn’t have to say it back, not yet. Right now I just need her to know that I’ll be by her side.

  I take her lips in another deep kiss as I push through her virginity and thrust all the way inside her. She cries out, and I hold myself still as she clings to me. I bury my face in her neck, trying to breathe through the tight grip her pussy has on my cock. It’s clenching me harder than anything I’ve ever felt, and it’s so tight it’s nearly painful. I have to breathe along with her, both of us adjusting to the new fit. It rips at me that I've hurt her. I want to be the one to make sure pain never touches her again.

  “It’s just the first time, angel. The more we make love, the easier it gets. So it’s incentive to let me inside you.”

  I feel her smile against my neck, and she places a kiss there. “Go slow. I think I’m okay.”

  As slowly as I’m capable of, I pull my thick cock out of her entrance, but she’s gripping me so tight it’s as if I’m stuck. I have to pull back with a little more force, and when I do, it causes us both to moan.

  The slide back in is just as tight as the first time, but I feel Fia relax a little around me. Her legs move up around my hips, opening herself and letting me in. The smooth glide is easier after a few shallow thrusts, and I grit my teeth at the sweet agony.

  “I want to cum with you inside me,” she whispers in my ear, and I moan again.

  “Goddamn it, angel. Don’t say that. I’ll cum in two seconds if you talk dirty to me.”

  She clenches around me like she’s trying to make me cum, and I groan. I can’t hold off much longer, and I want to make this good for her.

  Reaching between us, I rub her clit with my thumb and continue to thrust in and out of her. With my free hand, I take one of hers and entwine our fingers together.

  “Derek, I’m close. I want to feel you cum, too.”

  “Fuck,” I grit out into the pillow. I love hearing her dirty mouth for me, that I’m making her say these words. “Keep talking.”

  “Right there! Oh, God. You feel so good inside me. More.”

  “Shit, shit, shit.” I start to cum, but I try to hold it back, and then I feel her tongue on my neck.

  Her pussy clenches around me, and then she’s shouting my name, her orgasm taking over. I finally let go, cumming inside her and giving us both what our bodies were begging for. Release.

  I hold myself up so I don’t crush her as wave after wave of pleasure shoots up my cock and into her warm, waiting pussy. The pulses of her climax pull my cum from me. The thought has me cumming even more, wanting to give her what she wants.

  When I finally come back from the edge, I feel her soft lips placing feather-light kisses on my neck and shoulder. I lean up and look down into her beautiful blue eyes, feeling more connected to her than I have to anything in my life. I rub my thumb across her cheek and lean down, kissing her gently.

  I thrust slowly, moving in and out of her again, and after a moment she lets out a giggle.

  “Again?” she asks with a look of surprise on her face.

  “Fia, my angel, once was never going to be enough.”

  13

  Fia

  “You sore, angel?” Derek asks, placing kisses all over my face and slowly waking me up. He doesn’t wait for an answer, taking my mouth in a deep kiss and leaving me breathless. I finally open my eyes fully and see the morning sun coating the room. This is the second night in a row I’ve woken up in this bed, and I want to do it for the rest of my life, with him in it here with me like this morning.

  “Probably not where you think,” I admit, smiling up at him. I’m a little tender between my legs, but not enough to turn down another round, if that’s what he’s looking for. I could stay wrapped up in this bed with him forever with the way he’s been treating me and the things he’s been saying. I think he wants that, too. In fact, I think he wants everything.

&nbs
p; His eyebrows rise, concern crossing his handsome face. I can’t stop myself from reaching up and running my fingers along the stumble on his face.

  “My mouth.”

  His eyes drop to my lips, and a full-blown smile spreads across his face. This one makes his eyes light up.

  “Your mouth does look like it’s been ravished. Sorry angel.” He doesn’t look sorry at all. “I can’t seem to help myself.” To prove his point, he kisses me again. He’s been doing it all night. I’d woken in the middle of the night a few times to him just kissing me, then falling back asleep.

  “Glad someone is perky and rested today,” I tease. I could definitely snuggle back into the bed for a few more hours. His face changes at my words. His eyes go even softer.

  “No nightmares.” He says it like he can’t even believe it. “Not one since my angel came into my life. I haven’t slept like this for as long as I can remember.”

  “I didn’t know you had nightmares.” It’s then I realize I don’t know a lot about him, but why does it feel like I can’t remember a time without him? How is that possible? It’s crazy and intense, and I love it. I love him.

  “Lost a few men a while back, and I’ve been living in the misery of it.” He leans in, placing another kiss on my lips. “Then an angel walked into my life and woke me up. You saved me.”

  “Pretty sure you saved me.” The idea of saving him warms me all over. He makes me feel like I do so much, just by being near him, but I get it, because I feel like that too. Just knowing he’s near me makes me feel safe. Complete. Fills something I didn’t know I was missing.